One step closer

With you, I've always been myself.
Maybe it was because the first we met, I was already overwhelmed. Not by you, but by the words said to me just minutes before. Words I knew that were wise advices from someone who believed I could do better, be stronger, and follow my heart. So I tore you apart. I raised my voice. I scolded you for mundane things. For cutting onions too loudly. But you remained calm. And we saw each other again.

In January, another someone who believed, wrote kind words as well, and only in the last few days have I re-read them. He sounds very much like you or maybe, what I imagine the younger you to be.  You see, my friend is young, in his early twenties, I presume, but his clarity of thought gives us the courage for moving on.

'A year is long enough and everything can change. And keep living your life, be yourself and don't feel like you're nothing without him.
And time will figure things out.
I don't mean you should give up, no,
you should trust your heart.
Because even if it leads to pain, it is still worth it as long as you believe it is.

I've went through something like this,
it was painful at the time, but I don't regret anything.
I did what I had to do.
It didn't work, eventually,
but it doesn't mean it wasn't right, and of course it doesn't mean it will be the same for you.

... Life is a wonderful thing,
we can never know how bad things can turn out to be the best things that have happened to us.
I know you are a good person, so everything will turn out for the best.'


And maybe, I've taken the silence too personally. I know you're facing challenges of your own and I wouldn't like to add to them. I shouldn't have expected too much out of these short moments.

I was glad to have met you, too.
Being with you had made me feel calm and happy, warm like home.