Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Spanish is sexy, not horny

Warning: This post is not written for those with a dirty mind.

I stumbled onto Spanish entirely by accident, looking for a way to learn the (reputedly) 3rd most difficult language in Europe, yes, it's Czech, and finding it an impossible task to befriend Czech speakers in sunny Singapore, the journey of improving my score in the black book of languages took me to a beta portal teaching new languages, the crowdsourced and user-contributed mnemonic way. And since there were about sixty thousand students trying to learn Spanish, I thought it would be better to join the crowd.

No, actually, I'm secretly in love with a guapissimo (meaning: super handsome!) Spaniard. Who knew?!

Before, the number of Spanish words I knew could be counted by the number of fingers on one hand. (Both my hands have the same number of fingers).
Hola.
Amigo.
Casa.
Mocha ? (I'm not entirely sure this is Spanish but I always say this word on Friday.)
Loca (Shakira, 'Loca loca loca')
Zara, Mango, Massimo Dutti (I <3 <3 <3 Massimo Dutti!!!) not counted.

Not forgetting, 'Muchas Gracias', for some reason, this grateful phrase always makes me think of milk-producing cows, those black-and-white ones, grazing in a field.

So I kept at it every weekday, for 15 minutes a day, I logged into memrise.com and continued my 'Introductory Spanish' course that promised a thousand words into my long-term memory, eventually. Out of the first two hundred words that was taught to me initially, one word was in my super-duper-long term memory, 'cachondo'.

Now the simple explanation for it was that I liked the way the word sounded, rolling off my tongue, the way how I liked the way 'libre' sounded, and also, 'esperanza'. sssss-pear-run-ZA!

The only meaning that was given on memrise for the meaning of 'cachondo' was 'horny'. The typical Westernized image of a guy who is...well, not able to think properly with the head that is on top and visible to other humans, and just... goes for the moment. I try to be more descriptive but my blog is really for decent people and woe on me for planting some dirty thoughts in your head.

Loca loca loca. (The song is stuck in my head.)

I had some fun at group events getting a hapless decent Singaporean guy to say 'I'm horny'. I was egged on by others of course, I'm not that cruel. In fact, I was egged on by a Catalan guy who proudly told me he is Catalan; I don't even know what that is, is it a country or a race or a culture? I told him his hair is 'moreno' and his face (la cara) looks German, thankfully, he did not beat me up. I know there is  a group of 'Catalans in Singapore', on LinkedIn but other than that, Catalonia (I much prefer the way it sounds spelled 'Catalunya') seems to be an almost fairytale place in my dreamscape, filled with cobblestoned turrets and ladies in coronet shaped hats. Ah, Catalunya!

The real meaning, the true meaning of the word 'cachondo', is somewhere between the often-used English phraseology "good in bed" - Again, that phrase is highly subjective, agreed - and when used to describe a lady, "Cachonda", it is not a derogatory remark, instead it means she is looking 'hot' and 'sexy', in a way that you would be most honored to have her in your bed. Otherwise, it also means that the way the hot/sexy lady is looking makes you want to imagine how good she is in bed
(with you). Ah, you see, learning languages can be fun!

Meanwhile I envision myself in the near future volunteering at a school, teaching English to hapless spanish speaking humans, explaining to them the meaning of "good in bed".

By the way, if you google 'What does it mean to be "good in bed" ', Yahoo! Answers describes it as:

'It means that you sleep well.'


I shall be a good volunteer teacher and ask them to google it...

Nota Bene: If you find my definition and explanation of 'cachondo' wildly inaccurate, please don't shoot me, it was explained to me in this way by a Spanish whose command of the English language is superb. I have now learnt 600 words in Spanish. =)

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